The following quotations were taken from resumes and cover letters from all over the country. With all the work and care that goes into writing these documents, it's funny, if unfortunate, when errors slip through to the final draft. Alas, such mistakes make exactly the wrong impression on exactly the wrong people.
1. "I am very detail-oreinted."
2. "I have a bachelorette degree in computers."
3. "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
4. "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
5. "Served as assistant sore manager."
6. "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."
7. "Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."
8. "Special skills: Thyping."
9. "Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes."
10. "I can play well with others."
11. "I have exhaustive experience in manufacturing."
12. "Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings."
13. "My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had."
14. "I eat computers for lunch."
15. "I have used lots of software appilcations."
16. "Objection: To utilize my skills in sales."
17. "Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years."
18. "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."
19. "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."
20. "I am a pit bull when it comes to analysis."
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